Understanding EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is an evidence-based trauma therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing or overwhelming experiences so they feel less emotionally disruptive and more integrated over time.
Instead of needing to talk through every detail, EMDR uses structured bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping) while you briefly access aspects of a memory. This helps your nervous system “unstick” from old threat responses and allows new meaning, perspective, and relief to emerge.
EMDR can be helpful for trauma, anxiety, panic, grief, and experiences that still feel “stuck” in the body or mind, even when you logically know they are in the past.
What is EMDR?
EMDR can be helpful for a wide range of experiences, including:
- Complex trauma and developmental trauma
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Emotional overwhelm or shutdown
- Grief and loss
- Attachment wounds and relationship triggers
- Experiences that feel “stuck” or unresolved
- Negative beliefs like “I’m not safe,” “I’m not enough,” or “I can’t trust anyone”
You do not need to have a single “big trauma” to benefit from EMDR. Many people come to therapy with a collection of experiences that have slowly shaped how they feel about themselves and the world.
What EMDR feels like:
EMDR is a structured 8-phase treatment which is often best used in extended 75 minute sessions.
We begin phase one by building safety through a process called “resourcing” (so that your system has ways to stay grounded during the trauma processing later on). This looks like trying out a menu of breathing exercises, visualizations, and sensory techniques to find which ones work best for you.
Once you get into the processing phase of EMDR, I guide you through sets of bilateral stimulation while you notice what comes up internally: thoughts, images, sensations, or emotions, literally anything. The words I say most often will just be “What are you noticing?” and telling you to “Go with that”. You don’t have to force anything, and often where things go is different than where you expect it to. The goal is not to overwhelm you, and to process everything in bite sized pieces. Because the bilateral stimulation does two jobs (keeping you calm and helping your mind make new connections), your nervous system is able to process what it was never able to fully process in the past.
Sessions often feel like a combination of noticing, pausing, and gently (…or intensely) allowing your system to reorganize itself.
How EMDR works:
EMDR is based on the understanding that the brain has a natural capacity to heal itself and integrate experiences when given the right opportunity.
When something overwhelming happens, especially without enough support, the memory can become “stuck” in a raw, unprocessed form. This is part of why certain triggers still feel so immediate or intense.
EMDR helps activate the brain’s natural processing system (neuroplasticity) so that the memory can be stored in a more adaptive way, along with new perspectives, emotions, and beliefs about yourself and what happened.
My approach to EMDR:
I use EMDR in a way that is slow, collaborative, and trauma-informed.
This includes:
- Prioritizing safety and stabilization first
- Using modified forms of EMDR build for attachment ruptures and complex trauma like Flash, Resource Tapping, and attachment-informed protocols
- Working at a pace your nervous system can tolerate
- Integrating somatic awareness and grounding skills
- Drawing on parts work (IFS), expressive arts, and somatics
- Supporting emotional processing without overwhelm
You do not need to push through anything before you’re ready. We move in a way that respects how you’re organized.
What change can look like:
People often start EMDR therapy feeling like they are:
- Easily triggered or emotionally flooded
- Stuck in old relationship patterns
- Carrying shame or self-blame
- Constantly bracing for something to go wrong
- Disconnected from themselves or others
Over time, they often notice:
- Fewer emotional “spikes” in response to triggers
- A greater sense of internal steadiness
- More choice in how they respond
- Reduced intensity of painful memories
- Increased self-compassion and clarity
- Feeling more present in relationships and daily life
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it can mean it no longer has the same power over your life.
Is EMDR right for me?
EMDR may be a good fit if you feel like:
- You understand your patterns but can’t seem to change them
- Talking about things hasn’t been enough on its own
- Your body reacts before your mind can catch up
- You want a structured, evidence-based approach to trauma healing
If you’re unsure, that’s okay. Part of our work can be exploring whether EMDR feels like a good fit for you.
Getting started.
Starting therapy can feel like a big step, especially if you’ve learned to manage things on your own for a long time. You don’t need to be at your breaking point to begin.
EMDR can meet you wherever you are, whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or simply ready for something to shift.
If you’re curious about working together, you’re welcome to reach out to schedule a consultation.
You do not need a diagnosis to access trauma therapy.
I use a non-pathologizing kind of therapy model that does not require diagnostics. Of course, any diagnosis you have received, agree with, and/or suspect is important to incorporate. Still, this work is open to everyone regardless.
• How EMDR therapy works •
The basics of what to expect.
1. Free Consult
A 20-minute video call. We talk about who you are, what you’re looking for, and answer your questions.
2. Intake
A full 75-minute session to map your history, current life, therapy goals, and what safety looks like for you.
3. Modules
Weekly or biweekly sessions following your unique treatment plan: EMDR, IFS, somatics, and skills.
4. Reassess
We check in regularly about how your life is changing, and modify direction and pace to get you great results.
Resources and Tools.
Whether we’re doing EMDR therapy together or not, you may find these resources and tools valuable.
This worksheet is used in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to help people better express a whole range of emotional states. They can also help people more easily connect to what they need in the moment.
Internationally recognized clinical psychologist, EMDR expert, and author Laurel Parnell, PhD demonstrates a simple bilateral tapping technique to calm yourself down when you feel anxious.
A flow chart adapted from Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD, illustrating how the nervous system figures out what to do during a crisis. Your nervous system needs to make the choice between flee, fight, freeze, or collapse almost immediately.
Frequently asked questions.
I still don't get it, what is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a trauma therapy originally developed for veterans, which has since expanded to support people living with all kinds of disturbances and traumatic life experiences. If it’s the right fit for you, EMDR can successfully transform depression, anxiety, phobias, nightmares, flashbacks, and all kinds of negative beliefs we hold about ourselves.
EMDR is a structured 8-phase treatment which is often best used in extended 75 minute sessions.
You can learn more about EMDR from their official website here.
Are you an EMDRIA Certified Therapist?
I am currently not a member of EMDRIA, which means I do not currently hold the EMDRIA Certified Therapist credential.
However, I do qualify for these titles! The EMDR Level 1 & Level 2 trainings I have completed, as well as my EMDR practicums and supervision hours, are EMDRIA-approved education. I simply haven’t joined the organization’s membership. (Perhaps we can blame my ADHD!)
The title I officially hold in the EMDR world is: EMDR Trained Clinician.
What is IFS?
IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. It is a mindfulness-based therapy originally developed for behavioral concerns like self harm and eating disorders, which has since expanded to support people living with all kinds of self-protective behaviours and internal conflicts. If it’s the right fit for you, IFS can successfully calm your nervous system, build self compassion, and help you connect to your true self.
IFS is a practice that can be incorporated into other therapy models, or done as a whole session on its own. Like other practices (imagine: yoga, writing, exercise), IFS gets easier the more you do it, and benefits from consistent attention. This is why I like to use IFS as a stand-alone therapy module, as well as a ritual for beginning or ending sessions, and for reassessing treatment goals.
What is somatics?
Somatic therapy is a generic term for any therapy that prioritizes the body: how it feels, moves, and responds to emotions. If it’s the right fit for you, somatic therapy can support you with chronic pain and chronic pain, as well as anxiety, depression, CPTSD, or trauma.
Somatic therapy is a practice that can be incorporated into other therapy models, and honestly makes most therapy work better. That’s why I always bring in somatic resourcing tools to the treatment plan as early as possible.
You can learn more about somatics here.
How do you integrate nature?
I am trained as a Certified Forest & Nature Therapy Guide. This means that, if it’s a good fit for you, I love to take walk-and-talk sessions on good weather days. Being outside in a quiet, green area is naturally supportive to human healing.
I also offer intensives and community events which lead you through quiet nature invitations. These are amazing for slowing down and quieting the mind and body, and they are also joyful, connective, and fun to experience with family and friends. If you are interested in a nature therapy intensive, let me know during your treatment planning, or email me anytime at milo@therapywithmilo.com
How do you integrate personal spirituality?
Spirituality is intensely personal, and always something that is client-led in my therapy sessions. Many trauma survivors, especially those who have experienced religious trauma or cult abuse, have a lot of protection up around the idea of spirituality in general, and that makes so much sense! Spirituality is never mandatory, and atheists are extremely welcome in my practice.
At the same time, many trauma survivors experience a lot of relief and transformation connecting to something “bigger” or something that can bring meaning to the pain that they have been through, and spiritual or cultural practices are one way this can be done.
Many of my clients identify as pagan, witches, astrologers, tarot readers, or mystics as part of their path toward reclaiming spiritual agency after a lifetime of abuse or neglect. Others connect to their cultural roots, folklore, ancestors, or spirits of the land. Still others dive deep into a large religious tradition like Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or Hinduism, whether or not it was the tradition they were raised in. I am trained in ways to utilize your personal spiritual beliefs as a powerful resource in your trauma healing, as well as support you in using them in session to make therapy more effective.
Feel free to ask me how we can adapt this practice to your needs.
How can you tell if it's trauma rather than BPD, OCD, autism, or ADHD?
Each of these has specific diagnostic criteria, but in my practice, I do not currently offer assessments for psychiatric conditions. That said, I have a lot of fluency in neurodivergence and trauma, and there are plenty of ways to make sure that the work we are doing is safe for the specific brain you have.
EMDR has been shown to be effective in treating the symptoms of BPD, OCD, and ADHD, and has been shown to be safe for autistic brains when modified appropriately.
No one’s brain is one-size-fits-all, so the therapy we do together will always be adapted to your needs. If you already have a diagnosis you agree with, that it great, we will make sure to incorporate accommodations into the therapy work. If you aren’t sure exactly what your suspected neurodivergence might be, that’s okay too. There are lots of ways for us to test and experiment to make sure that the therapy we are doing together is creating the kind of results you are looking for.
Can I have trauma even if I wasn't physically abused?
Yes. Physical abuse is one experience that can sometimes be stored in the body as trauma. However, it is not the experience itself that defines whether or not something is traumatic: it’s the way that your body adapts to the shock of nervous system overwhelm.
A very incomplete list of things that can cause trauma:
- Serious accidents or injuries, or witnessing a serious accident or injury.
- Neglect, or being left alone for long periods of time as a child.
- Emotional neglect, growing up without emotional support, validation, or consistent care.
- Witnessing domestic violence or experiencing high-conflict relationships.
- Sudden or complicated losses.
- Bullying or ongoing harassment.
- Ongoing microaggressions, sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, or transphobia.
- Serious illnesses, hospitalizations, or surgeries.
- Repeated exposure to violence or disturbing events through the media.
- Living in unstable or unsafe conditions; going without food, clothing, shelter.
How do I know if I'm dissociating?
Dissociation our brain learns how to do in response to overwhelming stress, trauma, or emotional overload. Your mind creates distance from an experience that feels too intense, threatening, or difficult to process in the moment. Sometimes, though, people notice that the dissociation starts to happen more frequently, even when life feels safe, being triggered by things you might not classify as “objectively overwhelming”. It can be frustrating!
It looks different from person to person, but it’s generally characterized by your brain involuntarily creating distance from your emotions, body, memories, surroundings, or sense of self. This can look like numbing out, losing track of time, or finding it difficult to remember parts of your day. In more extreme cases, it can feel like you’re watching yourself from outside your body or experiencing the world as foggy, dreamlike, distant, or unreal for long periods of time.
Often, it can show up in relationships: struggling to stay present when discussing difficult topics, or even spacing out during what could be positive interactions like cuddling, hugs, or sex!
If you think you dissociate, definitely let me know, because it will probably happen during therapy too. We can put a plan together to go slow and keep you grounded through trauma processing.
Do I have to talk about my trauma in therapy?
No! You do not need to share every detail of what happened to benefit from therapy.
I am trained in some specialized techniques like Flash (a kind of EMDR), Deep Brain Reorienting, and somatic IFS, which can successfully resolve trauma without ever having to tell me what happened.
It makes sense to worry that trauma therapy might mean retelling painful experiences over and over again. While I want to understand you and your history, I don’t want you to have to relive anything, or go into that intellectualizing mode where you “recap” the story in the same way you always do.
You are never expected to share more than feels safe. Also, you can tell me anything, and it won’t be too much for me.
What if I am in crisis right now?
If you are having thoughts of suicide or a huge emotional reaction that you are not sure how to respond to, call one of the numbers below. You can also call if you have a loved one who you think needs help, but aren’t sure what to do. Here are some options:
- Brite Line 1-844-702-7483. Edmonton’s LGBTQ+ mental health and wellness helpline, available 24/7. Answered by trained LGBTQ+ volunteers and allies. If a staff member is not available to answer, your call will be directed to the Edmonton Distress Line, 211 or 988 dependent on your needs.
- Distress Line: 780-482-4357. Trained volunteers respond to individuals needing emotional support, information, and/or referrals. Uses call tracing and will call 911 and/or police if caller is at high risk to imminently harm self or others.
- Alberta’s One Line for Sexual Violence: 1-866-403-8000. Talk, text, and chat service that provides emotional support, information, and referral to anyone who has experienced or been impacted by sexual violence. Uses call tracing and will call 911 and/or police if caller is at high risk to imminently harm self or others. Available 9am-9pm.
- Access 24/7: 780-424-2424. Run by Alberta Health Services, available 24/7. A central hub for urgent services and centralized intake for all AHS-funded mental health services. Available to concerned friends and family. Interactions with Access 24-7 appear on your health record. Collaborates with police if there is concern that a person requires hospitalization due to high, imminent risk to self or others.
Begin when you are ready.
A free 20-minute consultation is a chance to ask questions and see if we’re a fit. No pressure and no commitment.